"A strange time..." Part ONE:

Where to begin? 

I suppose it's fair to start with saying that recently I have been trying to reform parts of myself through "holistic" means.  Perhaps the rendering asunder of my family and, thus, my way of life has added a bit of necessity to such things.  The ever-present feeling, now, is one of standing on the precipice or my back faced to a wall.  I am burdened with the realism of life and, mostly, all that it entails: I'm twenty-three (circumstantial) and still live at home (suck-ass economy, for the most part), don't know how to drive (my own doing, but it's hard when it's a philosophical fact that cars are unnecessary.  Minding, yes, they are a necessity, but not necessary.), and it's still hard for me to understand what spirituality really means.  [That is the last one because the others are, kind of, more important - at least for right now.]

But, it is that last part that I am here to talk about.  You know, I am a smart person, and find that it's relatively easy to grasp many concepts that others might find difficult or not worth scoring a second glance.  That is NOT out of (intentional) ego.  God, the ego; I think I actually know what mine looks like.  Another "dream," but not worth mentioning here.  The ego is a tricky thing.  I've talked about, perhaps more with piece by piece coherence, the ego and its prospects.  Ultimately, the one that appears paramount is its use of anything in ones life process to keep them complacent and stagnant.  (You can tell when I like a word - like anyone - I'll say it many times in my work.)  The ultimate way that it does this, in my honest opinion, is to convince one that it is NOT there.  If it is metaphysical in nature, instilling the notion that metaphysics is a fallacy works GREAT!  It's worked on me.

Now, to be sure, the only reason that it has worked at all, is because, I got into metaphysics for POWER.  There, I said it.  (I'm a Scorpio, shoot...not wait, I'll sting myself, continuously.)  ::grins::  Of course, before the lynch mob forms, let me explain.  I'm talking real powers, like supernatural ones.  This, over the course of my life, was what I suppose I figured was the end-all-be-all of anything magic or religious (spiritual).  It all started for me at 18, when high school got out and the real world was there to take me...it wanted me!  ::Frankenstein growl::  More or less, out of shear disassociation, I dropped off into a fantasy world. 

Part two...coming soon (well, like in the next 30 seconds, more or less).