...have I been away! 

Well, no more.  It's time that my fear take a backseat.  (Now, it's most likely that I am saying on some kind of self-righteous high, but I don't care, as Weezer has eloquently put it.)  I've been away because I am/was afraid.  Of what?  Moving beyond the confines of my life, (and a place like this - Gaia - makes you look headfirst at your fears).  And, not because I am lazy, but because where I had found to roam, I thought, was like a cliffside that led nowhere - a bottomless fall.  Ideally, where I had been, away with that group of astro-NUTS, was where I, now, wanted to be.  [If that last sentence is grammatically correct, I'll be amazed.]  There, you didn't have to be good at anything.  Life was novel - besides a job, I wasn't pressured to know what I wanted to do, or to have a plan.  (I mean, come on, life isn't about having a plan...)  But, it is about listening to what come your way. 

My problem is a lack of listening.  I know what I would like to do, but it actually takes so much time to see it done.  Anyway, enough about the ill things.  For the next couple entries, I will be adding some quotes that I've written - somewhat my thoughts.  Personally, I like 'em.  And, hell, I'll be putting some of my language up, in case any of you are Conlangers, too.  AND, I'll be writting more - that I promise to myself.

The Spirit (unknowable or not) be with all of you...much love.

I don't know what it is (and I prefer to leave it that way), but, lately, there have been times where I've had moments of ... clarity, I suppose.  But, more accurately, it's like a pouring forth.  The other night, when I got started (talking about metaphysical things), I didn't stop - even for my stutter. 

Several months ago, during one of my shifts at Exxon, there was a man named John that came in wanting to buy his normal energy shot, when he asks me for advice, out of the blue.  I decide to ablige him.  The first time was not our best "session", but they tended to get better.  The final time I ever spoke to him, he was frustrated and needed to talk to someone.  Like before, I was willing to listen.  Long story short, I gave him council.  But, what makes this important is what occured within me that day.  He told me that everything that I was telling him was what he needed to hear, and I helped him attain some clarity.  I don't know, but something opened up...and I felt wonderful.  That day, I was inspired to start my language.  That day, I am ENTIRELY sure that I was in-tuned!

Bottom line, this is what I feel life IS about.  Nothing else feels real, except for that clarity.

I don't know...perhaps the computer.  Though, yes, I do notice the irony...

You might have heard that the computer can be an addiction.  Well, it can - I used to have it, and I do, sometimes, regress.  But the point of this is, is that the computer is an addiction, like anything, for one reason: its overuse by the individual (for whatever reason they can muster).  The ill of too much computer is that it is information too readily available.  No one has the opportunity to forge themselves by seeking it out. 

Of course, the catch-22 is that we all, either as Americans or simply anyone in the modern age, are "land-locked" into our lives, with the Internet being a vast ocean with a harbor at the end of every IP address.

But to return to th' original, non-preachy question - yeah, maybe the computer...

First: NOT to overthink.  (Though, I need some more practice at.)  

-Pa te, sa lehé fa - na roshné!

Second: All that I still "need" to learn is that there is what Ken Wilbur calls "The Groundless Ground of All Being".  When one feels like there is nothing, they just haven't found the bottom of the pool.  Foundation is what we look for...the essential reality.  The Hermeticist's All.

-Pa te, na beré!



[Don't worry, I know what those "alternative" sentenses mean. :)  ]

There are TWO reasons why this planet is suffering via the hands of its so-called "stewards"...

(Yes, I know that sounds judgmental, but isn't meant to be - I'm actually in a good mood today.)

1. A connection to (and will to live, unchanged, in) the Imagination/Divine, and a stronger will to bring it forth from the divine source and make it manifest.  [Note: that this is not something terrible, and, actually, only serves to feed the more dire point that I make here.  The Divine is endless and unchanging, thus is our True Nature.  However, we have...]

2. A strong fear of change, and thus of death.  [This is the crux of my point.  Let's assume that one can best his or her own fear of change, of the unknown invisibility of the future...what more is there for one to fear?  Indeed the one thing that can be neither seen nor felt - death.  Though, from what I hear, death is NOT the boogeyman.  It's just change.  And if you've mastered fear of that, then you should be alright to face it.  But, here is where such things take a turn.  The ego (dum dum dum) hates change; it will maintain any alternate way of life, no matter how inane, to maintain a lack of change...

You may be insistently asking, "what does this have to do with a fear of death?"  Good question...

If death IS A CHANGE, the ego will try to keep one from it - not physically, it can't do that.  So, to effect a soul's willingness to accept change, the ego tricks the psyche in believing that there is NOTHING to change into - in otherwords, a general lack of a Groundless Ground.]

If Imagination/Divinity is truely unlimited, and the most essential realm of things, then that is where we should know our home to be.  However, we are conned into accepting a lack of essence.  We view and utilize this place of limited means as a way to make manifest the treasure we find in the Divine, that we think, and are convinced, is an illusion.  The earth is pillaged to make way for unlimited things that are natural to us, but not to the Earth, and are, here, quite unnecessary.

Magic.

::inhales::

This word has so many meanings.  (Though, I am happy to say that I know the "truest" intention behind it - but none of that right now.)   I am here to speak of what is real in the sense of what is possible, physically.  Lately, I have encountered some opposition to the "realities" of what we know as "magic".  I can say that I have never seen a magic show, or rather have seen any performed in front of me, but this hasn't kept me from being entertained and, in the beginning, amazed.

However, living in this age of disenchantment, notions of the inexplicable don't fly.  Without missing a beat, to fill the hole, come the reductionists, with their need to pull back the veils of reality and show you that there was nothing there to start with.  Thus, at least for me, there's no need to further dilude ones self into thinking that is anything real, or equally amazing, about what these obvious charletons attempt.  They perform to deliberately fool the masses in order to entertain them.  No one seeks honest truth.

The whole reason that I bring any of this up is, is that there are people in this world that profess to do things that some might consider are beyond belief - so, many ask, "Oh, my God, HOW is this done?  I don't understand it!"  I scream, "Hell, I can explain it to you, but you have to be willing to leave your notions of life at the door!"  And, I get, "well, I still need to see it for myself to be convinced."  Noted, but this is just a further testiment as to how we close ourselves off because of pre-conceived notions.  And, my recent favorite, "do I have to understand it, or have you explain it to me, to be entertained?"  YES!!!! 

Are you kidding me?  Seriously, what is the point of doing anything if you WON'T take it into you, becoming it?  Things are meant to be felt, to be understood (at least until the wisdom of how things are, without having to understand them, sets in).  Of course, as a rebutal to my last point, if someone chooses to remain ignorant, then he or she is nowhere near that wisdom.  In case anyone was wondering, the wisdom is thus: everything is potentiality and thus is possible.  We are the Subjective architects of existence, and can DO anything.  Simply put, if it's NOT real and capable of being felt, then it's not worth my time.

::exhales:: 

Sorry...that was a rant.  ::smiles::  I'm just sick of both skeptics and tricksters.